5-4-Friday has been away for a while but I am going to ease myself gently back into it with a quick blog based on my week working away down south.  I am going to specifically list my “5 Hotel Whinges”… five things I have only really noticed for the first time this week which really, really piss me off about hotels…

Power sockets – there are never enough power sockets. And they are never near enough to the bed, meaning if you are using an phone app for your alarm clock you have to physically get up to switch into on to snooze.  Don’t know about you, but I struggle to snooze if I have to actually get out of bed and walk ten feet.

Air con – or lack, thereof. Last night’s hotel was like a sauna. It had a wall heater but that was thankfully switched off because, frankly, switching it on wouldn’t have helped much at all. Opening the window to let in some breeze didn’t help either because – “in the interest of guest safety” – it can only be opened two inches to remove the temptation to jump out of my ground floor room and land on the soft grass three feet below.

Press taps – in the bathroom that stop immediately you remove your hand from them. And I mean immediately, not a single drop flows once you have taken your hand off the tap. So, you have to try to rub soap into your hand and wash it, without using your other hand. Believe me, it’s not easy. Ask that fella who used to work in the kitchen in Robin’s Nest, he’ll tell you.

Pillows – they are never, ever comfortable. Even if, like last night, they give you four pillows, your head sinks to sheet level, while the pillows fold round your head, making you look like some sad, amateur boxer.

Shower controls – most hotels I stay in have the most convoluted controls for setting the required pressure and temperature. You need the manual dexterity of an xBox One world champion to arrive at the optimum settings. And then, every day, the cleaner goes to the trouble of re-setting it. Why, for god’s sake? It’s not likely they are using it to clean the cubicle or the bath. They barely clean the bog so there’s jack chance of them cleaning the shower. I suspect they do it just to piss me off.

See you in the hotel bar – Griff